Doomsday
by frankiekristine13
Summary: Rose and the Doctors thoughts and emotions after the events of 'Doomsday'
1. Chapter 1

**"**_**Planet Earth. This is where I was born. And this is where I died. For the first nineteen years of my life nothing happened. Nothing at all, not ever. And then I met a man called The Doctor, a man who could change his face. And he took me away from home in his magical machine. He showed me the whole of time and space. I thought it would never end…"**_

**"**_**How long are you going to stay with me?"  
"Forever"**_

**"**_**That's what I thought. But then came the army of ghosts; then came Torchwood and the war. And that's when it all ended. This is the story of how I died…"**_

'Roooooose' I heard him scream, as my last three fingers slipped from the lever. That's it, I'm going to die. But that's okay. I died helping him, saving the world with The Doctor, and for that I'll be eternally grateful.

'Roooooooose' it almost sounded like it was in slow motion. These were the longest moments of my life. I was being ripped apart from the one person I had ever truly loved, and destiny felt the need to slow it down. It was almost too cruel to be true.

I could feel my body being sucked away into the void, into hell, by some invisible force. I was reaching my hand towards the doctor's outstretched arm, trying to pull me in. I knew he wouldn't be able to save me now, but I needed to reach for him, I needed all the atoms of my existence to be close to the doctor for as long as I could manage. I need him.

His face was the picture of pure agony, and anger. His blood curdling screams of my name, shouting out loud for me, were echoing in the bare white room. I could see his eyes had changed from the warm, chocolately brown shade, which had once been so deep, now looked cold, empty, almost a reflection of the barren room I was ever so rapidly being pulled from. The Doctor knew my time was up. Our time was up, the end of The Doctor and Rose.

A noise erupted a few seconds after The Doctor's last call of my name. A strange sound, as if space itself was being manipulated, and was fighting to resist. I could feel something appear behind me. More of a someone, really. You know those moments when you can't see someone, but you know they're there? I glanced at my Doctor, who was now silent. His face held an expression I almost couldn't name. Almost hope, because now, I wouldn't be pulled into the void where I almost certainly would have died. A million Daleks, thousands of Cybermen, there really wasn't any hope of survival.

I could feel my saviour gripping me tightly, his arms wrapped around me, and then, the room was slightly different, the lighting was off however it was still bare and white but now The Doctor no longer occupied it.

'BRING ME BACK!' I screamed, banging the wall I knew The Doctor was behind, in this parallel world.

'Bring me back' but I knew it was hopeless. A wasted effort. All my tears and anger coming out in one big choke.

'It's stopped working.' my father stated, 'He did it – he closed the breach.' I'm pretty sure I heard someone scream 'no' and I'm pretty sure it was me, but all I remember is breaking down in tears. Mum, dad and Mickey remained silent. I guess there was nothing they could say, they stood there motionless; for what could they do to consolidate me?

I knew I should be thankful that I was saved, from what a few seconds ago, would have been my last. I owed my saviour, my father a 'thank you' but honestly, I wouldn't have meant it. Because in saving my life, he had taken me away from my Doctor. In all fairness, he wouldn't have known of my preference of death, than living without him. Living a life of work, and chips. A life where nothing extraordinary happens, like the first nineteen years of my life. Hadn't I told Mum, so many times, hadn't I shown her that I couldn't live without him? Shouldn't she have known? Can't she remember a year ago, when The Doctor sent me back from, that I had to find my way back to him. I would give my life for him because he gave his life for me. He changed his face to save my life. He kissed me and absorbed the time vortex. Hardly romantic, some might think, but what's more romantic than a kiss that could save the life of the person you loved?

I placed my ear to the wall, searching for a sign that The Doctor was there, almost believing he was. I couldn't see him, but I knew that on this other world, he would be doing the same thing, longing for me, listening for me on his side of the wall.


	2. Chapter 2

I watched as the void crumpled up, sealing Rose from me. Almost like paper was being scrunched up in anger. Normally I would be angry, yes. That's one of the many traits of a Time Lord, so full of anger. At this moment however, I couldn't feel any anger, despite my hatred of the Daleks, my hatred and bitterness at their survival, despite the sacrifices I made to rid them from the universe. My kind is dead, gone forever. My home, my people, my family. Now my Rose was gone. There was no room for anger; all my cells were full of sadness; there simply wasn't any room left for anger.

I should be thankful, happy. Rose was alive, wasn't that what mattered? She was alive, uninjured, with her new family, her Mother, her new Father, her ex-boyfriend, Mickey. Maybe they would get back together, after all, they were happy until i came into the picture. Mickey loved Rose, he would keep her safe, and happy. It was always too dangerous with me. She wouldn't have lived much longer if she stayed with me, she was always too careless, and something would have killed her in the end. This way, she is safe; I would have done my job in protecting her, like I promised Jackie I would do. Only, it wasn't me who saved her, but her father. I failed her. There was no way I could have helped her. If Pete wasn't there, I don't even want to think about the alternative.

The room looked pristine, perfect. This world's biggest battle and the room looked untouched. How the room looked cold now, no longer warm when filled with Rose and her excitement.

I placed my ear upon the wall I guessed Rose would be in, in the Torchwood tower on this parallel Earth. Safe and sound, I couldn't have asked for more. I was always such a selfish person, wanting to keep her to myself. Truth is, I was scared of losing a second with her. Humans have such short lives. I had always known that sooner or later we would have been parted, but I was hoping for the latter.

The girl, who had helped me, saved me from anger and bitterness and hatred and I couldn't even help her. I couldn't have saved her.

I never realised I was crying until I felt the warm, tears run down my cheek. Silent. I couldn't remember how long it had been since I had cried, but I knew that it must have been long ago.

The sadness was thick in the air. The room felt almost as though a whole orchestra was playing their saddest notes, but all playing in perfect harmony. The saddest song I had ever heard.

There was nothing else I could do. I walked from the blank room, remembering what seemed like a lifetime ago, a memory of me and Rose having one of our infamous adventures. She always seemed so happy to come and explore new worlds with me. Her happiness stabbed my hearts like a blade, they seemed heavy.

I walked back to my TARDIS and couldn't remember how long it was until I stopped crying.


	3. Chapter 3

Three months had passed since The Doctor and I were separated, on the worst day of my life.  
It never felt right, me living a normal life, like I did before I met The Doctor. Chips, and work, and television. With The Doctor, there was more to life than that. I couldn't go back to working in a shop.  
I guessed I knew a thing or two about aliens, that maybe I could find the Torchwood in this world and get a job there; i heard they were looking for workers - it was the closest thing I could get to adventure like I knew when I was with The Doctor. My thrill for adventure couldn't be quenched with a shop job.  
Not that I could get one. I wasn't supposed to exist in this world. I had no records. I wasn't anyone. I thought about how much easier it would have been if I had just died that day. I couldn't afford to think like that, I owed it to The Doctor to live my life, as much as I could.  
I know I'll never settle down, never have children. I've never wanted to. Not until I met The Doctor, I would have spent my life with him, saving worlds and creatures I never knew existed. I always thought that I would stay with him forever. I suppose I was being childish, he wouldn't grow old like me; his body wouldn't decay, because he could just regenerate, keep changing his face. I wondered if he looked any different now, if he had regenerated. Had he found someone else to travel with? I wondered all sorts of things, but most of all, did he feel the same way I did, when he held my hand, when we ran together, when we danced, and explored, and travelled and grew together? Could he tell that my glowing smile was because of him? Did he think about me anymore?

On this strange world, everything was different, Mickey and I were just friends, after The Doctor, I just didn't love him anymore. Mum and Dad had got married, moved in together. Mum was even having his child, a few months gone now. They never knew that I was jealous, this new world made them find each other, find their true loves, whilst it had pulled me away from mine.

I never got the chance to say those three words. Three words I'm sure we both felt, but we didn't have the courage to say.


	4. Chapter 4

The TARDIS roared to life with the usual energy, and I knew where I was going. The familiar London estate, the co-ordinates were so familiar that I could type them without looking, without thinking. I could feel the power of the TARDIS fading, but I couldn't open the door. I knew who lived here. But she wouldn't be here; she never could be here again.

I travelled here for no reason; there was nothing for me here anymore...

I got back to reality, and realised that I was outside of the TARDIS, with no recollection of myself walking there. I found myself on the street where Rose used to live.

A sign was pinned to the wall

**List of the dead**

I skimmed my eyes over the list, searching. The endless names, thousands of names, all people who hadn't survived, whose lives had been cut short because I hadn't done my duty quickly enough.

Nearing the end of the list, my eyes fixed on a particular name.

_Tyler, Rose_

Of course I shouldn't have been surprised to see her name here, so many people died that day, and Rose was never found. I could imagine her flat being cleared out, all her belongings moved, so that another person could move in, her existence soon to be forgotten here. It wouldn't be her home anymore.

Of all the tools I had at my disposal, my mind which had barely failed me, why couldn't I think of a way to find her? Even to see her one last time? To say goodbye? Would she hate me for not coming sooner? Would she understand that I couldn't think of a way to come back to her? Was it too much to ask for her to exist in a world I could reach? I had to think. I had thought for hours on end for a way. Anything, no matter how small, anything would be worth it. I could build something... I could travel back in time and... And, oh, I don't know. Every idea leads to a dead end. Her world was sealed away from me. To see her would be shattering the whole of existence. It just couldn't be done.

But... what if I just...if I was lucky, would there be a weak point in the fabric of reality. A spot that I could find, to see her again? If only I were so lucky.


	5. Chapter 5

Last night I had a dream. I heard a voice and it was calling my name.

'Rose'

The voice was calling me, beckoning me to come. The voice... _his_ voice... The Doctor told me to follow his voice, that if I followed it, it would lead me to him. I woke up with a start; it was still early in the morning, before dawn and I could see the light streaming in trough my window. I was anxious to tell the others, so I called Mickey, I told him to come, and I told him that it was important. I don't know what I'd done to him all those years ago, but I call and he comes running. It's always been that way. Sweet Mickey, I used to say.

I went towards my parent's room, just a few doors down the hall, past the room where the nursery was getting decorated and I knocked on their door. Mum wasn't too pleased about being woken up in the middle of the night, but she could sense I was excited from my tapping. 'What is it, sweetheart?' she said, in that voice she used when she was tired, just about to yawn. 'come downstairs, I'll put the kettle on, I had a dream' it sounded stupid 'I had a dream?' made me sound like a little kid, scared after having a dream about monsters, but what else could I say?

So I went downstairs, made tea and Mickey arrived, Mum came down in her dressing gown, along with dad, and we sat in the living room, fire blazing.

I told Mum and Dad and Mickey about the dream... 'I heard a voice' I told them 'and it was calling my name.' Anyone else would think I was mad, but not those three. 'It was The Doctor.' I stated, simply 'And he said I should follow his voice.' They believed it because they've met the Doctor. So they listened to the dream 'in the dream he said that if I follow his voice, then we'll find him. We'll meet again' I grinned as I said the last sentence, because it must be true, I could feel it.

So mum agreed, she said it was mad, but that I should do it. 'You're your father's daughter, you are' she said, lightheartedly. I looked at dad, and he smiled at me, and winked. 'No complaints from me' he answered, agreeing. I gave a small laugh, my family, eh? Small but perfect, only one person missing I thought.  
And that night, we packed up, got into dad's old Jeep and off we went. Just like the dream said. Followed the voice across the water. Kept on driving hundreds and hundreds of miles, because he's calling. We ended up in Norway, just a few miles out of Burgen, and we found our way to a beach, where I could hear him the loudest, like I was real close. I got out of the jeep and started walking across a sandy beach, the kind of beach I would have loved if I was younger, but living in London, beach trips were a rarity.

Dad, mum and Mickey got out of the jeep too, but stay real close, watching me as I wander across the sand, searching for the source of the voice, wondering why I can't see The Doctor if he sounds so near.  
Here I am at last. And this is the story of how I died.


End file.
